It took nearly four months, but memorial reminders of my wife, Cheryl, are now sprinkled around Janesville, Wis.
The first, an autumn maple blaze, popped up on Earth Day, April 22, on the Rock County Historical Society grounds. A few folks from the historical society helped me plant it in front of the building at 426 N. Jackson St., adjacent to the historic Lincoln Tallman House museum. A month later, an attractive plaque with Cheryl’s name was placed at the base of the tree.
Cheryl died of dementia Feb. 25, and as I explained in her obituary, she was a lifelong resident of Janesville and appreciated her small roles in her community’s history. As teens, she and friend Judi Erdman Kirchner waitressed at Milt’s Coffee Shop on Racine Street. She enjoyed childhood trips to Riverside (“the park with three parks”). She snuck candy and “tiger meat” while helping with her Keegan family’s neighborhood grocery at Mineral Point Avenue and Walnut Street. At the historical society, she compiled information for the Janesville Gazette’s former “Looking Back” historical photo feature. Cheryl also was proud to be in the first class to complete all eight grades at St. William School.
By mid-June, a plaque designating a lacebark pine in Cheryl’s memory was placed near the lower entrance to the Japanese Garden, near the Hosta Hollow area, at Rotary Botanical Gardens.
For several years, Cheryl volunteered at the Japanese Garden with Karen Goelzer-McKaig. When Karen died suddenly in 2017, I had retired and told Cheryl if she wanted to continue that legacy of service, I would tend the Japanese Garden with her. We did that until the spring of 2022, when Cheryl’s dementia got to the point where she balked at going, and our workdays there ended.
Finally, on Sunday, June 23, I attended a touching ceremony recognizing many of those who died in the last year at Agrace Hospice. The staff and volunteers organized a beautiful and moving dedication of metal memorial butterflies gracing three decorative panels in the flower gardens behind the inpatient facility off Wright Road. The names of more than three dozen people who spent their final hours at Agrace were read three times during that program.
After spending more than a year at a Huntington Place memory care unit, Cheryl was slipping quickly and moved to Agrace six days before she died Sunday, Feb. 25.
None of these memorials came about without significant donations. Cheryl and I were involved in many aspects of Janesville through the years. In her obituary, I recommended memorials to all three of these places. I also could have—and perhaps should have--considered St. William School and the Janesville Performing Arts Center.
Through being emersed in these and many other parts of the community, plus having worked at the Gazette, we got to know many people. Most memorials came as cash or checks without specific designations. As sympathy cards poured in, I hoped I could split the donations to the Rock County Historical Society, Rotary Gardens and Agrace so each would get at least $1,000. We accomplished that.
In addition, I placed a different obituary in the Waterloo Courier, which covers my hometown of Marshall, and suggested donations to the Marshall Area Historical Society. As the author of two historical books about Marshall, I have long been involved in that organization, and Cheryl and I became life members a few years ago. More than $400 in memorials went to that historical society, as well.
I filled out and mailed about 125 thank-you cards to family, friends, neighbors, former co-workers and acquaintances. Rather than a chore, it was a labor of love—I appreciated the love and support all those people showed Cheryl and me. As Cheryl’s health declined in recent years, I knew I would need that support, and all those thoughtful expressions of sympathy, as well as memorial contributions, showed that I was indeed surrounded with love at the height of my need.
It’s a lesson that others caring for loved ones with dementia might heed.
What wonderful donations and memorials. I’m sure Cheryl would approve!